i'm back

Roiyt.

I've been hiding the past few months. Of course the ED didn't go, I've just been like dead.

Although I'm not writing to anyone in particular, it's more like a sort-of public diary, I think it helps to write this.

What's new?

 I'm on anti-depressants now. I went to the doctors about my sleeping being fucked, then it go onto other stuff and anti-depressants was the answer. They helped at first but not anymore, I OD'd on them 2 weeks ago, but I'm not gonna tell the doctor that, I'll just say I still feel like crap.

I've been getting really long and heavy nose bleeds recently when and when not I'm purging and they scare me. :/ But I'll try not to worry about it.

I still self harm a lot, and it's been causing a lot of problems since the weather has been hot. I hate it, but I can't undo it.

I've been having huge arguments with my mum and I don't want to be living under the same house anymore. So on Wednesday I'm moving in with my dad. Maybe for about 2 weeks, or longer, depends how it goes.

I won't eat as much at my dads and if I go, I will have my own bathroom where purging won't be obvious. However I won't be eating much and there won't be that much food available anyway so I'll be purging a lot less. I'll be off college so I'll go to the gym every morning when it opens at half 6, I'll leave at quarter to 6 and walk there, spend about 2 hours, have a shower and get ready, then walk back. I reckon I can lose a lot of weight in these 2 weeks. Then with the difference, hopefully that will make me stronger if I go back home.

Ah.