What would they think?

As I say this, I'm definitely not considering telling people, I'm just wondering what it would be like if I did.

I don't show how I feel, I don't really mention it when I'm uncomfortable. Sometimes people have talked about self-harm and stuff in conversations, said they don't understand it, or that it's stupid. I normally say yeah fair enough, but then I try to explain why someone 'might' do it, without letting on that I know a lot about it, using stuff like 'I guess they' and shiz. But when people say it's stupid, if they knew that I do that stuff, would they think slightly differently because it's probably really unexpected and from someone they wouldn't think would do it? Hm, I just wish I could be myself around more people, not everyone, just someone maybe... I'd be the same person, but they could know that I'm very insecure, I panic and I'm always scared in public, and that when I'm on my own at home, I have mini break-downs and I'm a complete state, and that when they're texting me or talking to me on msn, if I say I'm okay or alright and not good, there's a good chance I could be a mess...

And my Mum is going into town, my sisters going to work and my brother is seeing friends, so I'm gonna go b+p because I feel like it.

I've had a pretty shit day already and it's only 12.
Today: Sort stuff in my room, have a bath, when it gets dark go for a smoke and sit in the park and I know it's stupid, but put it out on my wrist, last time I did it it was on the left, and I wanna make it even. Last time it hurt quite a bit, but felt good after, just taking a deep breath... Then I'll take mi sleeping pills and try to sleep.