Reet. I'm glad I went out to the cinema, saw Love & Other Drugs. Was a lot sadder and shiz than in the advert but it was still good (y). My friend asked if I wanted to stay over... I knew her family had already had dinner so I said yeah. I hate it when I go to hers and have to sit and have dinner :/ they never have much salad so it's not like I can eat the salad and make it look like I was eating. But yeah I stayed over and didn't really enjoy it. I wish I could have just been at home, I wish in such a shit mood and felt horrible. My friend spends so much time with her family when she has friends over. Like standing watching her brother play PS2 and asking him about it or sitting at the table for ages talking about random things. It makes me feel so uncomfortable and awkward. I can't say anything cause she'll be like, 'what, am I not allowed to spend time with my family?', which I can't really say anything against without sounding like a twat. I feel uncomfortable at hers every time I do, so I think from now on I'm just gonna lie and say I have something on when she asks if I want to sleep over.
I go PT everyday and it's like a place to unwind and talk to people who actually give a shit because they're going through the same things. I was in a mood for that, and recently has been a bad mental time for me. Sounds gay but I know what I mean. Thinking about the new years eve thing, usually I'd hate being around a lot of people. But the times I'm drink have been pretty much the best times I've had in the past year. If I had access to alcohol all the time, I'd make myself tipsy for college all the time. I HATE college so fucking much. Anxiety and paranoia make me hate college. I'm so uncomfortable every second of the day. I wake up everyday thinking eugh, shit, and dread the day. Not in just an, 'ew college' way though. I seriously don't want to go back after new year. I'd drop out of college, but then I'd be fucked; I know I need to stay.
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