I feel so failed

So I actually managed to get to the appointment with the college counselor, so hard, walked to and away from the corridor a few times :/ Got in, general get-to-know shit, told her a few things, not much, just lightly went over them. I hated it, I don't talk about things to people, and it felt terrible when I did, especially as it was face-to-face. I feel like such a failure for even opening my mouth, like it's just proof that I'm being weak. I went in for my friend, so she can't say anything against me when my mood suddenly changes, so she can't say I do jack about it. I also went in because I hate everyday and I want to see what they say about the stuff I do and think. No they haven't said that yet, it was only half an hour, nothing magic will happen, but it just felt so wrong talking. She said I had done 2 brave things, 1 actually walking through the door, and 2 talking to her, even if it wasn't about much. Yeah that was really hard, and I regret doing it. I listen, I don't talk about myself. I join in conversation, depending on who it is, but I don't talk about myself. I feel embarrassed for talking as well. I'm hoping that next week she asks how I felt after I left the room, and I'll reply and say, "I felt embarrassed for talking and couldn't stop worrying about what I said and sort of wished I just didn't say anything at all. It felt really wrong and I hate talking about me." So stressed out.