I'll write on this later, but I was just thinking... I do have some of the people I'd like in my life already. I have a few people asking to see me, but because of anxiety and paranoia and shit, I don't let myself see them. They're gonna fuck off soon and I don't know how I can get this sorted :/
Today we're having another Christmas day cause my sisters come back from Australia. So we got presents and a Christmas meal n shit. I put on a pound, I know to most normal people that's nothing, but specially since I weighed myself first thing in the morning, it's a lot. I DO NOT want to eat this meal, and I won't be able to throw it up. I'm scared.
So fucking scared about tomorrow, got an appointment with the school counselor. I should probably tell my best friend so she knows I'm not fucking with her when she get's pissed off with me and say's I'm not doing anything about it, but I don't want to bring it up or get into a conversation about it. I think I'll just wait until she asks. I'm shitting myself about it though. I don't know what I'm allowed to tell her, and I HATE one-to-one situations like that. They're so stressful, if I can't handle sitting in a class with someone in a layed-back place, then I can't handle this. The don't share anything with anyone and I don't trust anyone.
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