Or I just need a best friend who can buy me alcohol. I used to steal wine from the cupboard so I could just get drunk whether it was on my own, school or wherever, drinking makes everything better. I've taken it from my sisters room, but I've got to the limit, if I take anymore she will notice it isn't her drinking it. I just really need it, if I just get tipsy, people would just think I'm lively, or that I'm just random and like talking or something, I hate being my usual shutting-the-fuck-up paranoid scared self. I hate it so fucking much.
Also, why am I in an okay-ish mood right now when I've eaten so much?! Today I've had like 2 crackerbreads, 2 clementines, a chocolate biscuit, 2 hot chocolates, a soup and brown bread with butter.. shiiiiit that seems like more now I've written it down, I'll probably be in a shit mood now.. I'm gonna regret this, I don't take laxatives, but right now I am going to. That's like... 445. Shit.. I havn't eaten that much in SO long.. I'm so panicky right now I didn't realise.. Okay I'm not going to sleep tonight.
Plan: Carry on re-decorating my wardrobes and walls, get everything ready for college, get the 7:02, go to first lesson, go to the counselor (FUCKING SCARED), go into town, get energy drink, go back to college, do a bit of work, do contemporary music techy shiz, get the 6:46 home, get back at 7:45. Roiyytt. Well that's a frickin' long day.
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